sleeplessness

when you try your best, but you don't succeed...
when you get what you want, but not what you need...
when you feel so tired, but you can't sleep...
stuck in reverse...

it's late and i'm awake. once again, thoughts consume my mind. i'm not where i'm supposed to be. something is incredibly wrong. headaches and dizzyness have consumed my days.. yet they can't find anything to be wrong with me. i guess it's just another thing i will have to live with.

nine days til my birthday. guess i'm just not so excited, don't really no why.. birthdays are supposed to be fun. my grandparents are coming to see me. i'm happy about that. i miss them a whole lot. i'm rambling... so i guess i'm out...

rewind, replay, story of my life

there's a lot that i don't know...
there's a lot that i'm still learning...
but i think i'm letting go...

i.am.about.to.break. i am sitting here and i feel like icantbreathe. i am constantly overwhelmed with everything that is going on around me. i can't fight it. i can't stop it, and it is bringing me down.

reality check

i have gained a lot of weight and i need to lose it. but yet i can't bring myself to do it and i have no idea why. i think it's became i feel t.r.a.p.p.e.d. i don't feel free. i don't feel like i can even be myself right now.

this is ridiculous. this is not happening... yet it is. this is my life right now. my tearfilled, sad, pathetic, life. i can't get a grip. i can't hang on.

no where to turn, no one to run to... i. need. help.

i'll admit it, okay... i can't do this on my own.