lost.

it's been awhile... can't believe i'm still feeling the exact same way. wondering...wondering...wondering. i am just a girl, living in this great big world. i haven't yet found out who i am or where i am going. still searching. i hope i don't spend my whole life searching. pain comes easy. in like it was never out. tears flow. it's no big deal. it's all a facade. it's all a game. i don't have control anymore, things are out of my reign. what do i want? what do i really want? i either have absolutely zero answer to that question, or an answer that is a mile and a half long... i'm not happy; to be quite honest i am miserable. i am making it though... faking it, making it and it will be fine. f.a.i.t.h. God hears, God knows... there has to be something greater after this. i need to convince myself that i can do this on my own. i can. i am strong.