trying to break the cycle.

... losing hope is easy, when you only friend is gone...
frustration comes so easy with us. anger. shame. hurt. still going through the same old cycle it seems: day in, day out... up and down, riding that crazy roller coaster. nothing changes... but i hang on and give it everything i've got, because that's who i am. i cannot be that person anymore. i need to start focusing on me. i need to change. i need to do it for me. life is too short and there are so many important things that i don't want to lose. i do not have the time nor the energy to give 100% of myself to one person. i told him that. i told him i wasn't going to be the person always running around fixing everything. it is way to hard and not fair to either of us. so this year will be different. i need to stick by my word on this one. if things work out, that's great; but if they don't, i need to be okay with that too. i need to be okay with relying on myself and trusting myself. i have lost a lot of that lately and i need to work to get it back. here's to making changes and living my life for me.